9 Reasons You’ll Have Difficulty Finding True Love If You’re An Old Soul
Have others called you an old soul? Do you sometimes feel like you’ve seen it all before, even if you know you haven’t? Does it sometimes feel like you’re seeing right through someone?
Old souls are special because of their wisdom and sense of truth, which the universe has passed into them from generations before.
Some say this is because your soul has been reincarnated from previous lives. Others say it is simply a wisdom handed us by the universe. Regardless of how you become one, though, as an old soul you are different. Very different.
And that difference may mean you have difficulty finding the right relationships. Our old souls don’t fit very easily with the youth and immaturity we see at the center of so many people around us.
As a result, love can be nearly impossible to find. Here are nine key reasons why:
1) We’re secure in our identity.
A strong sense of identity can be frightening and intimidating to others, who are so much more accustomed to pretending to be some version of themselves, depending on the context. We’re comfortable in who we are, and so don’t pretend; seeing everyone around us pretending can make us uncomfortable, or even sick, and makes it nearly impossible to bond.
After all, how can you love someone when you don’t respect someone, and how can you respect someone if they don’t even respect themselves enough to simply be themselves?
2) We’re hyper intuitive.
That innate wisdom we carry with us means we see meaning where others gloss over it. We’re sensitive to the world around us, and we know when people are about to repeat the mistakes they’ve made before, even if they don’t see it.
Of course, warning them usually doesn’t work, and so when we see them making the same mistakes, it hurts us. We over think and over analyze as a result, maybe as a way of covering up our crazy intuition, which can tell us in our gut when something is wrong in a relationship, even if we can’t put a finger on why we know that to be true.
In the right situation, this is a gift. Surrounded by others who don’t want to see the truths of your intuition, though, it can be incredibly painful.
3) As old souls, we seek our twin flame.
You know that idea that there’s one perfect soul mate out there? Well for old souls, there is, quite literally.
As a result, settling for anything else is just a recipe for heartache. They can’t be who we want them to be, anymore than we can be someone we’re not.
Fortunately, soul mates tend to gravitate toward each other, and when you find each other, you know.
The waiting until you find each other, though, can be torturous.
4. We hold higher purpose.
The intuition and wisdom we hold allows us to see other things more clearly, like what’s really important. As such, we have a higher vocation and calling to what’s important in our lives than most people.
This strong sense of purpose, of course, can be scary for others who aren’t accustomed to such strong feelings. For less people, our sense of purpose is intimidating, and they think of it as intensity. But that’s often because in their smallness they fear what they cannot understand.
So don’t feel bad about your drive forward. Let that purpose guide you instead.
5) We’re incapable of playing games.
We just can’t do it. Relationships are about building something together, not competing and playing tricks, and we know it. As such, we’re incapable of playing the “how many days before I call?” game and others like.
There’s no scoreboard for us, only attempts at doing things right, honestly and openly. We seek deep connections, and those immature games have no place there.
As such, dating is exhausting. We can’t do it. We can’t pretend to be someone we’re not, because we’re also so genuinely ourselves.
6) We attract others who need our help.
Naturally wise and empathetic, sensitive to others’ needs and cares, we often become the healers in others’ lives. Broken people are drawn to us, perhaps in part because they want to be wholly themselves as we are.
This is especially true in the dating world, unfortunately, where people who need help unconsciously latch on to us. Learning how to help those people while also letting them down easily (because let’s face it, that isn’t relationship material for you) is one of our biggest challenges, and can be one we struggle with our entire lives.
7) We keep to much higher standards.
Because we are so comfortable in ourselves, we expect the same from others—and that same attitude extends to other parts of our life. We expect perfection from ourselves, or if not perfection, then at the very least a sincere effort toward it. And we expect the same from others, which often causes problems, as most people have no desire to shoot for perfection.
It’s just…we can’t settle for less. And we can’t understand why others would want to, either.
Because we’re so sure of our priorities and principles, it can be really hard for us to understand when others’ are not so secure in standing up for what they believe, or simply don’t believe anything.
Of course, that disconnect can also leave us feeling awfully lonely.
8) We bring baggage.
Because we are both rare and different, we experience a lot of hurt in our lives, mostly because of our disappointments and inability to connect with others in the meaningful ways we would like to. And those hurts leave their mark in the form of baggage.
We become less willing to try and connect with others. We become more sure that they’ll disappoint us, and so less willing to try.
And so on and so forth. If we aren’t careful, all of these hurts and disappoints can turn into the kind of baggage that can sink a good thing.
9) We feel intensely.
Because we are so comfortably ourselves, we aren’t prone to holding back, playing games, or otherwise building up fake walls that could shield us from our feelings.
Instead, we feel intensely. This means love, sure, but also hurt. As a result, when someone hurts us, they really hurt us, and sometimes that gets in the way of good things later, as we don’t want to experience that pain again.
As a result, it’s a really big deal when we take the first step. Risking that kind of pain again is a really big deal, so when we decide to face that possibility, it’s huge. But love from an old soul like us is equally worth it.
*This content was inspired by an amazing article that can be found here.
Written by Matt S.