“I Love You” From The View-Point Of A Narcissist
I love you- these three words can mean the world to someone, can change someone’s day completely, and sometimes, also change two people’s lives completely. The meaning and feeling behind these beautiful words may be universal, but yet, there are people out there that don’t understand the meaning behind them.
The world has good people, but it also has narcissists, and if you’re close to one or know one, you need to give this a read. Here’s a letter written from the perspective of one, who’s hell bent on keeping the one they ‘love’ under their thumb. It helps us understand a bit more about what narcissists actually are.
Dear Codependent Partner,
I’m about to tell you something that I’ll probably never admit or say out loud, because that would mean I’m dependent on you, and that you’re the winner in our relationship. I could tell you I love you, but in reality, I love you for how you do to ends just to make me happy and make sure that I’m the focus in your life. I love how I don’t have to do the same to you, and you’re okay with that.
I love it how you hand over the power to me, and how I get to relish your kindness and pampering that you shower on me. It makes me feel huge as compared to you, and it makes me able to take all opportunities to get even more out of you- to make you feel as if it is your duty to do so, and make you feel less important and small.
All of the things that you do, or I make you do make you feel so vulnerable and weak, and I love to see you that way. And best of all, whenever you do feel like something is wrong and we need to sort it out, I’m here to tell you that you’re being silly and overly emotional. That quickly sets things right again. You slowly then start feeling that I’m right, and things are all right. You then lower your expectations from me, which is just what I want.
I’m happy how easy it is to convince you that it is your duty to make sure I’m pain free always, and that your emotions and feelings don’t matter. No matter what you do for me, you’re never going make me feel happy, satisfied and appreciated. Remember that.
When I tell you I love you, it just means that I like how I feel when I’m with you. Like you’re my property. I use you to feel good about myself and make myself look important in front of others, and make others jealous of how well I can control you.
I love how I make you want to prove your loyalty to me, and how you have to go through lengths to make me feel how you love me and are devoted to me. I always look down upon others and feel that they’re unworthy, and that makes me see that in myself too, but you’re there, to make me feel on top of the world always, and you don’t realize how good I feel when I see your neediness when it comes to me.
You’re my possession. You’re there for me whenever I need you, but remember, it is my job to make you feel like you’re nothing, and how you are too emotional and need to learn how to get over your crazy weaknesses.
I can get you flustered easily, and I love that. I can make you feel bad about yourself, doubt yourself and make you feel like you’re crazy for demanding things in a relationship that I get. You’re not me. I can make you hate yourself for even thinking that you can have any sort of complaint against me, or that I hurt you in any way.
That’s my job. That’s what I do. It is my responsibility to be completely aloof when it comes to your needs and feelings. You don’t deserve it. If you ask for it, you deserve punishment too. Remember that you’re here to serve my needs and fulfill what I want. You’re here for my pleasure- not yours. You don’t get to have your opinions.
What I love the most about us is how I can instantly make you feel insecure about yourself by giving attention to other people. Sometimes I do that on purpose. Doing it gives me another sort of power. It makes me feel more in control of you and your emotions. I love doing that to you. I love showering others with love and affection and attention that you always crave, and seeing you feel bad about it.
I love how I can instantly control you by threatening to leave you whenever you demand anything. I’m able to quickly manipulate you into trusting me and making you think that I’ll change with time, and squeeze everything out of you.
I’m filled with a lot of self loathing, and I love you because I know no matter what I feel about myself, you’ll never abandon me. I may be using you as a punching bag, and I’m a bit scared about losing you though I’ll never say it.
I always try to be in control of your mind and influence the way you think and feel. I want you to feel that I’m God. I want to be the one in charge always and you, always ready to serve me and make me happy and do everything to please me, because I’m a miracle in your life. I’m the source of your energy. You depend on me and like gravity, you’re always drawn towards me, because I’ll make sure you have nowhere else to go.
It is your duty to worship me. I’ll make sure I keep making you feel bad about yourself, doubt yourself and question yourself. You’ll often find yourself wondering what is wrong with you, and that’s because I want you to do it. You’ll never question me, because I’m perfect- atleast that’s what I want you to believe. I’m doing you a favor by being with you.
When I say I love you, it means I love how I feel when I see myself through your eyes- you admiring me and looking up to me for approval always. You being always beside me and how you’re always pleading for my love and admiration, hoping to feel valued in return.
Rest baby, it won’t happen. Because I don’t want it to happen. If I give you the wings, what if you fly off? Not giving you what you want gives me the assurance that you’re always going to be there, and I’ll be there to burst your bubble and shatter your dreams always.
I also love how I can control others about how they feel about you and influence their opinions about you too. I can make them feel that I’m the good person in the relationship, and that you’re the one at fault. You’re the one who’s never satisfied of all the love and affection I shower on you and how you’re always complaining and are too selfish.
You may come asking for value in our relationship, but it is very easy for me to say no, and I love that. I’ll have a huge number of excuses ready, and I’ll make sure your focus is always on my needs and wants- not yours.
Your ambitions, wants and emotions don’t matter. Your only reason of existence is that you’re here to make me feel happy.
I also deliberately isolate you from others that you love so that you can focus all your attention on me. I also make you mistreat and mistrust them so that everything you have, you focus on me.
I throw crumbs in your way and call it a favor, and it is your duty to feel satisfied.
I’m smart, and know just how to push you in the right way to make sure you fulfill everything that it takes to make me feel important and superior to you and others.
Forever your narcissist.
Written by Enozia Vakil