You Don’t Have Enough Balls to Be Happy, Here’s Why.

Avatar Baraka Mistretta | November 3, 2017

What everyone really wants is just to be happy, you included!

We all say we want to be happy, but the truth is, we are terrified of it. We are scared of being happy because we feel if we experience happiness, we might get used to it.

That’s our first problem.

The second problem is most of us also wouldn’t recognize happiness if it appeared on our doorstep and introduced itself.

What really is happiness? We walk around looking for it, hoping for it, and sometimes even working for it in the wrong places, but a lot of us don’t even recognize it, while it is screaming right at our face in broad daylight- I’m your happiness, see me, see me!

Take, for instance, the fact that I was a miserable child. I looked carefree and happy on the outside, but in the inside, I knew that I longed to be happy one day. In those days, happiness was simple for a child. It meant staying in one place for more than a year, not having their mother speak harsh words and not having creepy and lurking relatives. As a small child, I often thought- one day, I’ll be out of this house and have a house of my own, and I’ll be happy!

The problem was, the search and anticipation of happiness lasted beyond me leaving my childhood home, followed me through college as I longed for my graduation day and escaping my studies and felt like only then would I be happy and free.

Then, I entered the job force and became a 9 to 5 worker, where happiness waited for me on weekends and when work ended on weekdays. For me, happiness because anticipated vacations during the days when I had no work. But did I do them? No! Happiness was never a point in those destinations.

Even then, happiness did not arrive when I fell in love, got married or walked down the aisle. It did not come when I received my huge bonus and had a good lifestyle and it did not arrive when I got my body in shape and took the trip to that exotic island.

It was clear. Happiness never arrived because it wasn’t an outside job. It was, it always was an inside job, and it is something we are absolutely terrified of grabbing.

Happiness is actually pausing for a moment and looking around at the life we are living. It lies in acceptance and gratitude for what life is, and finding happiness in the smallest of things. It can mean the scent of freshly cut grass or when your little pet dog jumps in joy or when your lover holds you for a moment in bed before going off to sleep.

Happiness is often found in these tiny fleeting moments that you tend to not take the time to see it. All of us tend to live empty lives searching for happiness and keep touting yoga mantras and chanting positive affirmations when actually, it is like frosting a cake that’s made of crap with beautiful frosting. It is a lie and not a pathway leading to true happiness.

True happiness takes courage.

It takes courage to enjoy the little moments in life, experience happiness in them and not care so much about what other people think of you. We all must take the time to slow down and break from this crazy place and sit back and stare at the sky without constantly checking the phone and just listen to the birds sing without planning a hundred things in the head.

It takes courage to give up our ego and say yes to love and open ourselves to being hurt again and say yes to taking chances. Most of us are scared at taking small changes at anything. We say we do takes chances, but we really don’t. We like to play safe and stick to the idea of being a good girl or a good boy.

We all are afraid. Afraid to relax and live a good simple life and instead, we work long hours to make lots of money and go on a 2 week long vacation that in turn, just ends, and all we’re left with are pictures and memories that fade quickly, and a long credit card bill that doesn’t.

If we really slow down and appreciate what we have daily, we’ll find that happiness just pokes her head out at every chance she gets, and you’ll find tons of things to be grateful for everyday. That’s what actual happiness tastes like.

However, we try to chase our idea of happiness which is actually nothing but insanity. It is actually like just catching your own shadow, which is impossible because it is impossible to catch a part of you.

Happiness is actually inside of you- not something outside, which you can attain. So take your time to slow down, get quiet and notice the happiness, because it is right there!

Just ask someone who’s dying of cancer or going through hell- when life pulls out the rug from under you and you have nothing to grab on to or hope for, you’ll realize that the smallest of things matter, and the smallest of happiness is all you can hold on to.  

Happiness is not out there- it is right in front of you. But it is only half of troublesome equation.

Even if we do recognize happiness, we are often afraid to hold onto it and trust it. We are actually afraid to relax and enjoy, because God forbid, if we taste it and start to like it, what if we lose it?

That’s one of the deadliest problems we all face in the quest for happiness. We are more comfortable wishing for happiness rather than actually enjoying it or noticing it. Our entire society is based on hope and anticipation- hoping and striving for what’s best- which is usually just around the corner.

And when our anticipation and striving gets delivered to us, what happiness? We struggle to find a new moment of happiness, and get in the never-ending quest. We must have the balls to accept the current happiness- be grateful for the job you have, and realize that regardless of what and how you feel today, you’re here for a reason. At one point of time, it is exactly what you wanted, and hoped for.

Your partner today? At one point of time, he/she’s exactly who you wanted, but the quest for searching for someone better leads you to not appreciate what’s right in front of you. And that body of yours- what happens if you lost your right leg tomorrow, will you be bothered by that cellulite filled inner thigh?

So take a moment to just relax and realize that everything you have is just right here.

If you really relax and appreciate all that you have, you may actually slip into a grateful moment, and if you’re brave enough to relish that moment, you’ll find happiness slipping onto you like a soft warm blanket of goodness, and if you let your eyes close and enjoy the sweet satisfaction, you’ll most likely get lost in it!


Written by Baraka Mistretta


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You Don't Have Enough Balls to Be Happy, Here's Why.