Abuse in a relationship, can not just be physical, it can also be mental, and go beyond the use of foul language and insult. Often, emotional abuse goes unnoticed and lies below the surface. You may be on the receiving end of it, and the worst part is, you may not even know it. A lot of people let themselves be emotionally tortured in the name of love. While love does mean sacrifices, it doesn’t need you to sacrifice your self esteem and self worth.
Here are some warning signs of an emotionally abusive relationship.
1. Public shaming
It is not acceptable to degrade someone in private, but the worst thing is to do it in public, especially if it comes from your partner. Pointing out the mistakes that you do is one thing, but insulting you for those and disrespecting you is another. Not only does it damage your personality with the increased audience, but it also lowers your self esteem and makes you more prone to depression and anxiety.
2. The constant disapproval
If nothing you ever do is good enough for them, you may be having a partner that is emotionally abusive. They might find flaws in everything that you do, which may make you question your value in the relationship. Even if you try doing things differently, you just can’t please them, and they still keep finding faults in everything that you do. In the pursuit of their approval, you may lose your sense of self worth.
3. Insults disguised as jokes
It is okay to laugh at yourself once in a while, but it is wrong to allow anyone- even your partner, to insult or degrade you using humor. Sometimes, even if you don’t realize it, the cruelty of their jokes can have a negative impact on your personality.
4. Relentless control
A control freak tries to have the handle over every possible situation and don’t stop till they get it. If something does not have any relation to them, they will still try to control it, because they love the sense of domination that comes with it. If your partner tends to impose on you and control the things that you do, it can become suffocating quickly. They can rob you of making your own choices, which can impact your personal growth.
5. Demoralizing attitude
Everyone has flaws and mistakes, but all of us need to learn to be easy on ourselves and others, and instead of constantly judging and embarrassing them, we need to learn that we’re humans, and that’s the beauty of us. If your partner tends to nit pick you with a motive that does not have anything to do with the intention of helping you improve yourself, it could mean that they’re trying to demoralize you, and that constant criticism can be negative for your self esteem.
If your partner fails to understand your sentiments and emotions, you may start believing that your feelings don’t really matter, and that they’re doing the right thing by being indifferent. This ignorance, however, can be seriously damaging to you as a person, because it makes you feel unimportant.
If your partner tends to act in a manner that comes off as threatening, and you don’t actually feel safe around them, it is probably because they want to establish a sort of dominance over you, which is not what the dynamics of a healthy relationship is. You may start to feel insecure, which may then quickly transform into fear, and if you start fearing your partner, your relationship is doomed to fail.
Retribution shouldn’t even be a part of a relationship- there’s just no room for it. If you’ve done something wrong that doesn’t mean you need to be punished for it and if your partner does choose to punish you by cutting you off or making you feel guilty, remember that it is not fair to you.
9. Lack of support
As a couple, your main goal should be to help each other grow and achieve great heights, no matter how crazy and unrealistic they may be. Showing support is the key part of a relationship, and if your partner fails to offer you that and instead, just ridicules you, everything can seem like a struggle. You may even start to doubt your own abilities.
10. Disrespecting the privacy of your relationship
In a relationship, what happens between the both of you, should remain between just you, and should not become public knowledge. If your partner fails to maintain privacy without your consent and his/her actions leave you feeling exposed and embarrassed, remember that it will lower your confidence.
11. Questioning your judgment
If you find that your partner does not acknowledge your ability to make your own decisions, and doesn’t have regard for those and doesn’t respect you like you should, it is a sign that they’re being emotionally abusive. This relationship can end up making you doubt your own abilities.
12. Unjustified blaming
If your partner tends to blame you for everything that goes wrong, even among things that had nothing to do with you, it can be a very demanding task for you to keep justifying your actions.
An abusive partner can also be very touchy and temperamental and are easily offended. You have to be more careful about what you say around them, since you don’t know what can upset them. This can become difficult for you since you have to weigh your words before saying them, always.
14. Lack of space
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you cannot do anything on your own. Even as an individual, you need to have your personal space and a life outside your relationship, and your partner needs to understand that to keep things in balance. If your partner is extremely needy and always needs you to do things with them and doesn’t leave you alone or with other people, it can become very suffocating.
15. Imposition of inferiority
If your partner doesn’t let go of a chance to put you down or make you feel as if they’re doing a favor on you by choosing to be in the relationship, it can make you feel unworthy of yourself and create a feeling of inferiority within you, which is not healthy.
16. They are bent on always being right
If your partner never seems to accept any of their mistakes, and you’re the one who is always wrong in the relationship, you may have some serious thinking to do. Their need to be right always can disregard your feelings and you’ll end up being threatened to do things the way they want you to do.
17. Financial restraints
In order to keep a control over you, your partner may also move on to take a hold over managing your finances to understand what exactly you’re doing. Your hands, in such a situation, will be tied, and you have no option but to submit to them.
If you never seem to have a moment of peace with them, and you find them always keeping tabs on you, keeping an eye on who you meet, it can end up annoying you, and it also shows how they don’t trust you.