Have you ever had an experience where you knew someone was lying but you weren’t sure enough to call them out on it, only to find out later that you were right all along? As much as life is about love and community and friendship, it is also about wisdom and discernment.
As nice as it would be to live in a world where everyone is honest and transparent, the truth is, we have a long way to go with that still. Something that can really help you on your journey is being able to distinguish between a lie and a truth. It is good to learn the ways to identify a lie NOW so that you don’t have to learn the hard way through experience later.
Whether it be a co-worker, friend, family member, or peer, here are 3 main ways to tell if someone is lying to you:
1) Their body language changes
It has been estimated that about 55% of all communication boils down to body language. We are biologically wired to be able to read body language, and knowing how to identify specific movements and gestures is a good way to prevent yourself from falling victim to a liar. Here are a few body language signs to look for if someone is lying:
- They are blinking rapidly (trying to be more convincing)
- They aren’t making eye contact (either out of guilt, or trying to think of a story on the spot in their head)
- They may put their fingers on their mouth (subconscious way to prevent them from spilling the beans)
- The stare at you very still without blinking (forcefully trying to remain calm)
- They change their head position quickly (to replicate an ‘AHA!’ moment)
These 5 things, in combination with what we are about to talk about, are signature body language behaviours that most liars display.
2) Their tone of voice changes
It is estimated that about 38% of communication involves tone, volume, flow, pitch, and speed. They may start talking more quietly, more quickly, or stumble over their words. They may stutter a bit as well because they are trying to make up a story as they go along. You may also notice that they are giving you too MUCH information as an attempt to make themselves super convincing to masquerade their lies.
Their voice may carry a sense of nervousness, anxiety, or fear when there is no need for it to exist. If you ask someone “Where were you today?” and they did nothing wrong, there is no logical reason why they should be nervous, stumble over their words, or try to overly convince you of where they were. Body language combined with tone of voice accounts for the majority of human communication, and learning how to read both of these will give you a huge leg up.
3) Their energy field changes
It is estimated that the remaining 7% of communication is verbal in nature and consists of words. These numbers, by the way, come from a study done by professor of psychology Dr. Albert Mehrabian which tested verbal and non-verbal communication. If someone lies and says “I don’t have a problem with you!”, he concluded that 93% of the communication could be picked up by the tone of voice and body language.
I personally think 7% is too high of a number, because his studies failed to include other important ingredients which are just as scientific. Intuition, pre-cognition, and empathy. A lot of people identify with being an empath, meaning they can literally feel the thoughts and feelings another person is having. If you have a strong intuition and are empathetic in nature, I would argue that you can discern the remaining 9% using these tools alone, leaving only 1% to actual words.
How does it feel in your stomach and in your heart? Does it feel similar to how you felt a separate time when someone was lying to you? If you are standing with them, pay attention to how their energy field feels. Is it one of defense, lies, and manipulation?
Science tells us that body language and tone make up the majority of a person’s communication, and experience tells us that intuition and empathetic ability can account for majority of the rest. Spiritually speaking, 100% of communication is non-verbal. It’s all communicated through the energy field and through the thought field. If you are in touch with that aspect of yourself, and combine that with this new knowledge about tone of voice and body language, you are well equipped to see through the veils of deception.