Understanding the difference between a real and a fake relationship can be tricky. Is it really an illusion of a long lasting relationship or are things really what they seem. It turns out, a good number of us are actually in fake relationships and we don’t even know it. Real relationships take a lot of effort and understanding, but they stand the test of the time, and are good in the long run.
There’s a big difference between when someone says lovey dovey things to you, and when someone actually means what they say. There are a lot of factors that determine whether or not your relationship is real. A lot of people try to get into one just to satisfy their physical desires.
Here are some red flags that you should look out for if you’re with someone and understand if your relationship is actually real or not.
1. The communication sucks
The key to a healthy relationship is good communication between both the partners, and if you two barely communicate or spend time with each other and don’t recall when you last had a heart to heart talk with each other, your relationship is worth questioning. If you don’t even know what’s going on in your partner’s life, and you don’t even know about the dominant thoughts of their personality, it could be a sign of a fake relationship. For a strong relationship to form, physical mental and emotional connection is a must.
Even if you are in a long distance relationship, communication is the key. You may not meet your partner everyday or go out with them on dates that often, but there has to be active communication through calls or text messages to keep things going. You don’t have to text them all the time and know about everything, but you both need to share some uninterrupted time together where the two of you can just talk and not realize how time flew by.
If you come to know about the key happenings in their life through someone else or through social media, you’re definitely not in a real relationship.
2. Too much PDA
This may sound strange, but it is actually true. If you two are practically nibbling on each other, you may feel it is a good thing, but it could be pointing out to over compensatory behavior and it could be just a show. It is possible that the two of you are not happy in the relationship and just put on an excellent show of PDA and hear things like “Oh you guys are the perfect couple.”
If you guys are not as crazy about each other in private as you are in public, you need to ask yourself a few questions about whether or not you two really love each other.
Remember that your relationship is much more than the show you put on in front of your friends and family- it is about how happy you feel with your partner. If you’re a happy couple in public but hate each other or don’t like being near each other in private, it is a surefire sign of a fake relationship.
3. There are no remarkable moments
If you feel your relationship is just normal, and there’s nothing special about the two of you, and you both don’t share any extraordinary feelings or memories together, you need to think over the idea of your relationship. If it is normal it is not love. Love should feel nothing less than amazing, and if you both don’t have cute nicknames for each other, or don’t have any special memories associated with some place or some dress or some event- anything, it could be a problem.
If you don’t have anything in your day or life that reminds you of them, or makes you want to meet them, or makes you miss them, and they feel the same for you, it could possibly be a sign of a fake relationship. Being in a relationship should make you feel happy, special and in love! Yes, there are going to be fights too, but if you’re in love, you’ll feel extreme emotions too. If you don’t feel anything, you’re probably not in love.
4. There is a lot of confusion
During the initial stages of a relationship, things can be hazy. You’re unsure about how you feel and how you should react and respond to your partner’s feelings, and it is okay, since it is all new. But if you’ve been in the relationship for some time, and you still feel unsure about how your partner feels about you, it could be a red flag.
If you spend time with your partner, try to make them happy and profess your love for them, and you’re still unsure and confused about how they feel, it could be an issue. Don’t keep lying to yourself- try to sit down and clear up things with your partner. Communication is the key, and if you’re not aware of your partner’s feelings about you, you’re basically lying to yourself, and the relationship you’re in is not based on trust and security, but rather a bunch of lies and confused feelings, and such relationships don’t stand the test of the time.
5. Serious discussions are off limits
A relationship should be a mix of silly conversations and serious discussions. You may have a hell of a time with your partner, but you also need to sit down and discuss about important things in life and share ideas with each other. Only talking about happy talks and avoiding any serious discussions can be bad, and it will catch up to the two of you soon.
Opening up when it comes to serious discussions can be tough, but it is a must, since you and your partner both need to be on the same page and make decisions together to avoid misunderstandings in the future. Ideally, the two of you also need to know about each other’s secrets and in a relationship, transparency is the key to making it work.
Talking about important things can and will give rise to arguments and even fights, but that’s okay, those are healthy.
What’s scary is when you both just talk about superficial things and don’t care or want to focus on the crucial things in life, and it could be a sign that your relationship is not actually real.
6. There is a power struggle
In a relationship, letting go of the ego is a must. If you’re in a relationship where your partner wants to and has to be right no matter what, it could be a serious problem. Being in love makes you more flexible, and if your partner is being unreasonably stubborn and is not willing to co-operate and work things out in a middle ground, your relationship probably isn’t strong enough.
Being in love makes you more considerate about your partner’s feelings, and at times, you may even need to do things just for the sake of your partner’s happiness, even if you don’t really like it. You may also need to be the bigger person and try to reconcile things, but if your partner doesn’t seem to have the same approach in the relationship, it is a sure red flag.
7. There is sexual chemistry….. ONLY
Some relationships are intense, especially when sexual chemistry is involved. The two of you may be crazy about each other, but when it comes to talking or supporting or being with each other, if you’re not really interested, it could be the sign that your relationship is solely for the fulfillment of your carnal desires.
Such a relationship usually doesn’t last long, and will die as soon as your infatuation for your partner dies. A real relationship has feelings that go way beyond physical needs. It is based on the foundation of truth, respect, trust and a healthy communication among other things, and if your relationship doesn’t have the ‘time’ for any of these, and most of your dates end up in a passionate lovemaking session with little talk and more of sex, it could be a serious sign that your relationship is actually fake, and the two of you are together just to fulfill each other’s physical needs.
8. You don’t know each other’s family and friends
If your partner is serious about you, they will want to make you a part of their life, and will waste no time to introduce you to their family and friends. However, if despite spending months and even years together with each other, your partner doesn’t want to introduce you to their loved ones, it could mean that they’re unsure about you, and could be hinting towards a fake relationship.
Sure, your partner may need the time to make a decision and take things seriously, but if you feel the relationship is real and things are working out well between the two of you, and yet, you both haven’t made it official yet, it could be a red flag. It could possibly be that your partner isn’t really in love with you, or isn’t sure if they want to continue the relationship for a long term, which means the relationship is fake and isn’t strong.