What is the first thing you think of when you think of being happy? It is a taboo subject to associate loneliness with happiness, but is it possible to be alone and be happy?
It seems today that there must be something wrong with you if you are alone. We praise the extroverts, those who know how to handle themselves in a crowd, the ones with a vast network of friends. We think working in groups and on teams is the only way to find the answer to a problem. That two heads are better than one or so the story goes, and collaboration is the way of the future.
The truth is, over half of the world doesn’t agree. I don’t feel that way.
Loneliness and, in some instances, seclusion are things that millions of people grapple with daily. Things happen every day; people die, families move away, and relationships break up. Loneliness can be self-imposed in situations, people sometimes like to withdrawal from society. I see my friends all going out and wonder what’s wrong with me when I want to stay in. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me, but there is nothing wrong with me. I am simply an introvert. And, according to statistics, there is about a 50% chance that you are, too!
If it so happens that you are, then welcome to the club. I am sorry, there will be no meetings because we prefer to be alone. But it should bring you some solace to know that you are not the only one who feels the way you do.
Society often regards introverts as remarkably unhappy and even awkward. We are in a world where we are wired to socialize and interact with other people. They view it as strange and taboo if you don’t, but the truth is it is perfectly possible to be happy and be alone here is how!
Who says that people who are alone cannot have some fun? Do not let yourself slip into a monotonous routine. Find ways to break your routine by coming up with more creative ways to inject some fun into your life. A date, even if it is with yourself, can really energize you and inject excitement into your life.
Go out often; have a coffee, see a movie, or have a nice dinner. Most people think it is embarrassing to go out by yourself, but in reality, it is perfectly fine. And sooo much fun! If you work a lot indoors consider shifting your work outdoors. It creates a whole new possibility to form networks, relationships or to simply learn to be happy around other people.
Studies indicate that lonely people are less likely to use active forms of coping. However, active coping such as exercise releases endorphins in your brain which makes you feel positive and happier. The introvert or the individual with social anxiety should practice exercising in public in order to be more comfortable in social environments, perhaps running on the beach, or going to a gym.
Exercise can be fun, try to do something like; go for a hike, biking, skating, swimming, jogging, dancing, yoga, or walking. Don’t make it seem like work!
Make Like Beautiful
There really is so much beauty in the world and you need to spot it in order to positively appreciate life. If you are alone, take some walks in nature, visit a lake or some naturally beautiful place, visit a forest or some beautiful place that inspires you for the better. Appreciate the true magnificence of the world and you will begin to develop a more positive outlook towards life.
Quiet Your Mind
Your thoughts can be your best friend or your worst enemy when you are alone. If you sit and let yourself dwell on the fact that you are lonely you will be miserable. It is important to work extra time in order to eradicate those negative thoughts or negative energy that will drag you down.
One horrible aspect of negative thinking is that once a single negative thought takes hold of your mind, it spirals out of control to create the mental monsters that can simply shatter your life. When you are alone, you will be highly susceptible to negativity. You, need to develop safeguards that will help you effectively manage your negative thinking and shift your mental attitude in a more positive direction.
There are many ways, both mental and physical, in which you can interrupt your negative train of thoughts and insert some positivity into the moment. For example, take a nice hot bubble bath, play soothing music, do yoga, meditate, light some incense and read a book, or even take a nap.
Rearrange your Furniture
When you are alone, it is easy to fall into a pattern. It is easy to stagnate and feel as if things rarely change. And when you are alone, this can tend to be true, things really do rarely change unless you make a conscious effort to change them. Take charge!
The problem is that meaningful change is hard, and what is hard rarely gets started. To keep things moving, you have to keep things fresh. And to keep things fresh, it is best to look for small wins that can lead to bigger ones. Rearranging your furniture is meaningless by itself, but it brings new life to a dull routine, which is easy to fall prey to when you are spending a lot of time alone.
When your home is clean, well-organized and tidy, you will feel happy whenever you walk in and all you wish is to spend more time inside and savor the moments.
Avoid Mindless Consumption
When you are alone, you have an incredible opportunity to think clearly about your life and the direction you want to take it. In a world that is filled with too much noise, you have been given quiet. This is a time to reaffirm the path that your life is on.
Are you happy and fulfilled? Should you keep doing what you are doing? Or, are you feeling unsatisfied? Should you change something?
These are questions you can only answer when you take advantage of this gift of quiet. If, instead you fill your time with entertainment that you mindlessly consume; tv’s movies, randomly web surfing… you will find it difficult to answer those questions. You can never devote enough attention to coming to a clear answer.
Create Something Wonderful
Being alone without distractions provides you with a great opportunity to bring forth your inner creativity to build something that you can truly value. If you love to write, write! Perhaps a blog, novel, or e-book. If you are a painter, paint! Immerse yourself deep in the comfort and calmness of solitude and let the creative powers burst through.
Solitude is fertile ground for the creative minds who love to work with intense focus and without distractions. Isolation can offer you inspiration to get something done and boost productivity. If you need something done that will require mental focus, then it is better to do it in an atmosphere of solitude.
Understand That You are Good Enough All By Yourself
You are a valuable person, and you do not need the approval of anyone else for that to be true. When you are alone, remind yourself that it is you who chose to be alone. It is a CHOICE.
It is very easy to find someone to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life, you are telling yourself that you are better off by yourself than with someone who is not a great fit for you. You are good enough all by yourself and you do not need the approval of other people to be happy!