Best Advice NOT to Follow
Model yourself after someone great.
While this can be true to some degree, you are your own individual and everyone has their own strengths. Comparing yourself to someone you admire can lead to you comparing your weaknesses to their strengths without stopping to realize that you have strengths where they might be more limited.
There is nothing you cannot do.
While you shouldn’t let this keep you from your passions & goals, this belief can lead to great feelings of inadequacy and needless feelings of shame. Not everyone will excel at everything, everyone has their limitations. You should identify your strengths, hone them, and know its okay to be imperfect.
The best way to deal with sadness is to think through it by yourself
While time alone can be a good thing, too much isolation can create depression. It’s important to get out, get active, and get support to fully enjoy your life. Being alone can lead to over analysis, whereas a fresh perspective can be all it takes to get you out of your slump.
Be hard on yourself if you want to improve.
If you bully yourself, you will feel miserable. You can’t expect to be happy if you are constantly putting yourself down. Being self-compassionate will increase your overall happiness.
Hang out with critical people, it will help you recognize your flaws
While constructive criticism can be a good thing, too much of it will lead to self-doubt and loss of motivation. Hanging out with supportive, constructive people will often be all it takes to give you the boost you need.
Always look for your role in a problem.
You should be able to recognize when you are in the wrong. But remember, many things have nothing to do with you. Taking things over personally will lead to misery and destroy your relationships with others.
Pain is weakness
Be willing to feel emotional pain rather than trying to escape it by turning to an addiction. Remind yourself that the pain is temporary. Instant gratification and relief aren’t always the answer. Sometimes you need to put up with the temporary pain and anxiety to achieve long-term happiness.
Always take criticism to heart.
When people say mean things, it says a lot about them, not you. If you let unkind remarks slide right off of you, you will be far happier. Try not to let the garbage stick to you. It doesn’t belong to you. Consider who the criticism is coming from and try to recognize when their personal issues may be influencing what they say.
Ask for help whenever you need it
This can lead to over-dependence on others and a lack self initiative and independence. Rather than waiting for the world to take care of you, spend time trying to take care of yourself instead of immediately turning to others. You have more power than you think, no matter how little it may seem. Even the smallest change can snowball into something great.
Take it easy, let everything go.
While it is important not to fixate on things that don’t matter, letting everything go immediately can sometimes do more harm than good. It can prevent you from evaluating, and learning important lessons that you wouldn’t otherwise.
Written by Baraka Mistretta