The title and featured image of this post might appear ridiculous at first. Now I’m not saying we should scrap the whole “self-worth” and “finding your own value” concept because it does have value (no pun intended). What we should get rid of are the disempowering beliefs that may be hiding behind our interpretation of the idea of worth.
- If I can be worthy, it also means I can be worthless.
- Someone can be worth more than someone else.
- I must do something to gain or maintain my worth.
Doesn’t that sound exhausting? Yet these are the beliefs that have thrown many of us – including myself – into a restless and often painful chase for approval and validation, whether from others or from our own rigid expectations.
How Chasing For Self-Worth Can Be Disempowering
When our idea of self-worth is rooted in the belief that being worthless is an option – as if that is what we would be if we didn’t keep climbing up the ladder of self-worth – we are actually rejecting ourselves as we are.
Improve Your Work & Relationships
I have noticed in my own life that when I make the things I do be more about “me,” my “self-image” and my “self-worth,” I become less productive, my relationships are less sincere, I feel less inspired and I don’t work as well. Why? Because when I am caught up in trying to prove myself through what I do, what I do is no longer a genuine expression of my heart. It instead becomes interrupted by comparison, judgment, approval-seeking, competition, self-importance or self-doubt. We don’t need any of that to express ourselves and connect with others. It actually blocks these things from happening!
When we do what we do for the love of what we do and for how our heart resonates with what we share – our life becomes effortless. We no longer over-think, we express ourselves fluidly. We can then truly connect with others as equals instead of being run by an ego jealously wanting to prove its “worth.”
“I guess the people who are always trying to prove something are the ones who really don’t believe it.” – Matthew Lipman
Think about it: When we run around trying to get under the spotlight, it is because we forget that we have a light of our own. All we need to do is to let it shine from within. Competing or trying to prove ourselves isn’t needed when we truly know who we are.
We must be honest with ourselves and see if our version of self-worth has become a self-rating system; a way of being shallow and superficial towards ourselves. Are you only loving and accepting of yourself when your life looks a certain way? When you feel positive emotions? When you appear your best? When others are approving of you?
If so, stop that and relax 😉 You are perfect as you are. This doesn’t mean there is nothing we should seek to improve within ourselves; it means that we cannot become our truest and best self by bullying ourselves into being something we are not. We are where we are because this is the step we need to be on (and learn from) before we reach the next. So might as well love ourselves every step of the way!
Here’s an extra boost from a pretty cool alien: