At some point through our lives, most of us come in contact with a soul who feels very familiar to us. This feeling is mysterious and inexplicable as we have no way of logically explaining how we’ve felt as though we’ve “known this person forever.” And yet, we seem to anticipate that something momentous or life-changing is about to blossom in our lives, without quite knowing why.
These souls, no matter what age, race, or gender, often come into our lives spontaneously, creating profound, momentous ripples that carry on for years, and sometimes lifetimes – all with a quiet word, wise gesture and loving presence.
If your life has been touched in such a way, you’ve most likely come in contact with an Old Soul.
What is an “Old Soul”?
There is a certain breed of person in life whose perspectives and outlooks are vastly different from others. This person perceives the world not with the sprightly eyes of a young person, but with the weathered and wary eyes of an old person.
Wise beyond their years, the Old Soul often feels a sense alienation from others, yet a profound interconnectedness with life and deep understanding of the world early on in childhood. Thus, the Old Soul is a natural born sage, mystic and counselor; often providing guidance and a strong pillar of support to others.
Are You in a Relationship with an Old Soul?
Having an Old Soul in your life is often an immense blessing . . . and yet, in our fast paced world it is so easy to take the gifts they offer to us for granted.
If you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship with an Old Soul, as explored below, please take some time to express your gratitude to such a precious person in your life for all the guidance, support and love they unconditionally give you.
Are you in a relationship with an Old Soul? Read the signs to find out below.
1. They are homebodies.
Old Souls often mirror the behavior of old people: they love to relax at home and they’re not too concerned about going out all the time. After all, what could be more rich, vast and stimulating than the world of the mind? If your partner is an Old Soul they will much likely express a preference for chilling out at home rather than tagging along to flamboyant music concerts, adrenaline-pumping theme parks or other youthful activities.
2. They thrive in solitude.
Solitude to Old Souls is refreshing and restorative as it is where one can feel more in touch with the core of life and existence. Thus, the Old Soul is more than happy to spend large periods of time by him/herself without much worry or drama. Having little psychological energy to begin with, the Old Soul is thankful for the shreds of time alone spent reading a book, fiddling over a small project, or tending to the garden.
3. They don’t expect big grandiose displays of love from you – they love the little things.
If your partner is an Old Soul they will treasure the small moments of bliss they have with you. For example, they might put a lot of importance into seemingly insignificant things such as watching a TV show together every afternoon, nurturing a plant together, or going for a long walk every weekend. It is these commonplace, unpretentious moments of intimacy that the Old Soul delights in the most as they constantly reaffirm the sincerity of your relationship together. Life is unpredictable, and deep down the Old Soul realizes the transience of everything he/she holds dear, and so tries to capture as many simple moments of joy as possible.
4. They’re often eccentric.
Old Souls walk to the beat of their own drums, but not in a loud, rebellious or juvenile way – that is just the nature of who they are. Having vastly different outlooks from those around them, Old Souls see through the fallacies of social conditioning at a young age, and walk through life seeking for the “truth” or reality of existence that has often been obscured through religious, political and cultural teachings. Whether they have an odd fashion sense, strange mannerisms, unorthodox perspectives or seemingly peculiar beliefs, Old Souls are certainly different from the rest. However, far from being a party of one, Old Souls still appreciate acceptance and tolerance of who they are, especially in relationships.
5. They must be able to connect with you on a profound level.
This is paramount for your relationship to work successfully. Not given to superficial connections of any kind, Old Souls must be able to connect with you beyond surface tastes and personality similarities. They must be able to share their deepest thoughts, feelings, dreams and perspectives with you to truly feel bonded with you – and they desire the same from you. Without being able to create a profound connection with you, they will usually move on after you have learned the lessons they’ve shared.
6. They teach you many important lessons in life.
Whether learning how to be more empathetic, learning how to accept rather than resist, or whether learning how to simply feel gratitude in life, Old Souls create an interesting dynamic in relationships. They serve both as teachers and lovers, mentors and companions. While this mixture of roles can sometimes create issues (if you don’t humbly accept your role as a student), this combination is frequently a recipe for long-lived happiness. Even if you have parted with your Old Soul partner, you’ll most likely feel a continuous sense of admiration and gratefulness towards the much-needed lessons they taught you while with you.
7. They are there for you when you need them the most.
Unless they’re trying to teach you a lesson in resilience and fortitude, the Old Soul in your life is like a rock to you. In other words, they are there for you through thick and thin and are not intimidated by the tumultuous and unpredictable nature of life. Their calm presence is often what pulls you through the dark and dismal periods of your life, and for that, you trust them immensely.
8. They have an antique and elegant taste in sensuality.
Not all Old Souls are necessarily romantic, but when they do make an effort to venture into the realms of sensuality, their approach is often gentle, with a touch of old world charm. Far from being lusty, provocative or lewd, Old Souls delight in sensitivity and symbolic meaning. They might give you a tender kiss on the hand, light candles next to the bed, pick a flower for you, or give you a symbolic piece of jewelry, but whatever sensual style they have, rest assured it is infused with meaning and significance.
9. They do not play games.
Many couples begin and end relationships with certain “games” they play that create drama (think: flirting, baiting, lying, denying, playing “cat and mouse,” “victim and perpetrator,” “hard to get” etc.), however, the Old Soul is not interesting in playing around and is much less interested in enabling this kind of behavior. If you are in a relationship with an Old Soul, you might have experienced (or can expect) very firm and even stern responses to “game playing.” Old Souls give respect and expect respect. They are not interested in wasting time, and will clearly express this from the beginning.
10. They are brutally honest when necessary.
Old Souls value honesty highly as they believe it to be an immensely important facet of loving and balanced relationships. For this reason, if your partner is an Old Soul they will most likely put great emphasis on honesty – both from you, and from themselves. They often don’t hesitate to point things out that embarrass you about yourself, and they prefer to share their thoughts and feelings rather than repressing them (unless they deem it wiser to share with you at another time).
11. They sometimes come across as blasé or indifferent.
The Old Soul doesn’t take life as seriously as others, often adopting the motto of “Don’t worry, be happy.” The reality is that everything fades and passes away, no matter how wonderful or terrible. Therefore, the Old Soul doesn’t see much of a point in becoming overly attached to the outcome of situations, whether positive or negative. For this reason, it is common to misinterpret the Old Soul in your life as uncaring or apathetic because they don’t share the same extremes in emotion as you. The truth is that they are simply enjoying the ride in their own balanced way.
12. They give freedom but also expect freedom in return.
The beautiful thing about being in a relationship with an Old Soul is that they give you complete reign over you birth right: freedom. Old Souls are rarely controlling, demanding, clingy or possessive, and they prefer instead to give you the undivided freedom to “do your own thing” without conditions – all they expect is honesty. They will support your dreams and desires and will stand by you in your plans and pursuits, but they also expect you to do the same for them.
13. Their love is often unconditional . . . but they won’t be used.
Old Souls can put up with a lot in life often because they have developed the ability to accept rather than to constantly resist everything that comes their way. While they might love you no matter what you do because they see the beauty inherent within you, they are not interested in being used. Old Souls understand that healthy relationships involve give and take, but when a relationship is off-center due to selfishness or self-sabotaging behaviors (cheating, lying, self-harm, substance abuse, stealing, etc.), and this behavior does not change, the Old Soul rarely plays the role of the self-sacrificing martyr and often moves on to more fulfilling connections.
14. They are less prone to cheating.
It is not that Old Souls are necessarily saints, but rather, they lack the fundamental interest in sex, or secretive rendezvous to engage in cheating within relationships. Preferring to live as drama and conflict free as possible, the Old Soul will more likely share with his/her partner any feelings or thoughts that might put the connection in jeopardy. The Old Soul is rarely controlled or driven by libido.
15. They inspire you to be a better person.
When all has been said and done, Old Souls give more than take. If your partner is an Old Soul they will leave you feeling as though you are a better, smarter, wiser, more improved and wholer version of yourself than what you were before you met them.
Take some time to think of all that your Old Soul partner or companion has done for you in life. How have they enriched your world? How can you express your thanks to them? It can be very easy to misunderstand and take for granted such an unusual type of person in our lives.
Here’s a big thank you to Don Mateo Sol, a wise Old Soul who inspired this article. I appreciate every single thing that you do, big and small. You mean the world to me. Truly.
Don’t let the mindlessness of your fast-paced life get the better of you – indulge in the small, precious moments of joy you have with this special type of person in your life today before the opportunities cease.
You are blessed.
If you feel old in mind and old in heart – or if you would like to learn more about the Old Soul in your life – you might like to read more about this experience in my book: “Old Souls: The Sages and Mystics of Our World.” Have a look on Amazon or Smashwords!
Author: Aletheia Luna
Aletheia Luna is the author of “Old Souls: The Sages and Mystics of Our World” and “Quiet Strength: Embracing, Empowering and Honoring Yourself as an Introvert” . She is the cofounder, editor and author of popular self-discovery website LonerWolf.com. As a transformational mentor and holistic writer, she has helped to guide thousands of people all throughout the world on their paths of self-acceptance and wholeness. You can follow her work and private updates on Facebook and Goodreads