Most of us know a narcissist somewhere in our lives, and are aware of their habits. Most of them stop at nothing to be the center of attention always, and they do everything they can to make everyone think that they are the pillar of excellence. Most narcissists jump through the hoops to remain on the front, and pay no attention to anyone who they feel may threaten their facade of perfection.
However, a true narcissist is actually more than a typical individual who has high self esteem. Having a high self esteem doesn’t necessarily reflect the need to control others but is actually more of satisfaction with one’s own self. On the other hand, narcissists use a heavy hand to control the other person’s response towards them. A recent study has also found a striking difference between healthy self esteem and narcissism.
What Narcissists Give vs. What They Take
When people spend time with someone who is a narcissist, they often end up feeling exhausted and in some case, also feel violated. Most narcissists tend to attack other people’s emotional and mental space and suck up the energy in a room. They also have trouble engaging in a normal conversation because they put in a lot of effort to maintain all the attention towards themselves, which makes them nothing less than a energy vampire. They also tend to dislike their own self but keep up with the charade which can leave the people around them feeling drained of their own energy levels.
Researchers have revealed that all of us need a little bit of healthy narcissism to make sure we get enough respect that we deserve from others. Self-esteem levels need to be maintained properly so that we treat ourselves well and believe in ourselves. Infact, it has also been found that being around people who have high self esteem doesn’t actually take a toll on us, and research shows that people prefer friends who have a strong self esteem and high confidence levels, since they are much more pleasant to be around.
A Narcissist’s Gift to You is Really a Gift to Herself
Most narcissists do not believe in giving back to others just for the sake of simple kindness. Findings of study have revealed that narcissists give gifts with a mental note of it being an investment in their own desire, not for the pleasure of others.
When the gift giving motivation of people with narcissism and those with high self esteem was calculated, it was found that most narcissists give gifts to keep the recipient’s devotion towards themselves going strong. They actually give gifts with the motive of maintaining a relationship with the giver, and establishing a sort of control over the person.
Narcissists don’t give others expensive gifts because they think they are awesome, they give it because they want them to think ‘they’ are awesome.
Most people give gifts to others and show affection just to make the other person happy, but narcissists does that out of fear and with the idea of continuing the game to make sure that the other person is obligated to them.
The idea of losing their ‘audience’ and the failure to get enough admiration is what drives a narcissist to the act of ‘giving.’