Sometimes, people cheat. If they say they still love the person they cheated on, though? Nope. Don’t buy that stock. Because it’s not possible.
Let’s back up a minute and think about what a loving relationship looks like. First, key elements include honestly, loyalty, respect, and faithfulness.
Do any of those sound like attributes of someone who would cheat?
Cheating ISN’T the sign of someone who loves you. In fact, cheaters are the antithesis of everything in a healthy, loving relationship. Cheaters break trust, hearts, and even sometimes the willingness of the person cheated on to keep looking for real love.
Not to mention how incredibly painful it is to be cheated on.
If you’ve been cheated on, you know exactly what I mean. Eventually the pain turns to anger, but for a long time? Frustration, hurt, pain.
It feels like something you should’ve seen coming, like it was somehow your fault. (Truth: It wasn’t. If someone cheated on you, they should have been honest enough with you to admit they didn’t love you, instead of cheating on you. That they can’t be that honest is a pretty good sign of their true character.)
But instead of getting honesty from your partner, you got heartache from someone you trusted and loved.
And that’s not on you. instead, it’s entirely on them.
Signs of love don’t lead to cheating. People who cheat on you don’t love you—simple as that. Instead, they’re lashing out in destructive ways because they aren’t ready for a serious commitment.
Really, it comes to this one essential point: Cheaters don’t respect the person they cheat on
True love includes honoring your relationship, and cheaters don’t do that.
Really, you want your best friend for a partner: Someone who always have your back. Which is exactly the opposite of a cheater.
But what are cheaters even thinking? Gigi Engle, once a notorious cheater in her relationships, explains:
“I’ve cared for the men I have cheated on. I have loved each and every one of them in my own way. But I didn’t love them enough to be faithful. If you cannot sacrifice the touch of another person — if you cannot resist the physical urge to screw someone else in favor of honoring your relationship — you do not value that relationship enough.”
Gigi goes on to say, “For the first time in my crazy, messed-up love life, I believe that I am truly in love — madly, head-over-heels kind of love. The difference with this relationship is that I have a deep and profound respect for my boyfriend. I’m repulsed by the thought of letting another guy touch me. It makes my skin crawl. The idea of hurting someone I respect so much breaks my heart.”
So keep that in mind. Cheaters can reform—but if they cheated on you, it isn’t going to be with you.
So don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t love you for who you are, and who doesn’t have your back.
*This content was inspired by an amazing article that can be found here.