Aries (March 21st to April 19th)
You’re too insensitive. You’re angry and explosive and the littlest thing can set you off. One second you’re fine and the next you’re sulking around ruining everyone else’s day. For everyone’s sake, get over yourself and get a grip on your emotions.
Taurus (April 20th to May 21st)
You think the world revolves around you. It’s impossible to have any kind of relationship with you because you always look down on others. You’re always paranoid everyone is trying to change you and take away your independence when all they really want is for you to act like a friend instead of a superior.
Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)
You have a new personality every day and the focus of a 3 year old. Pick a personality and stick with it, nobody likes having to guess who you’re going to be on any given day.
Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)
You’re too damn sensitive. It’s one thing to be upset when something goes wrong but at least let people know whats wrong instead of making everyone guess. How about instead of wallowing in self pity you take a sec to clue people instead of making everyone uncomfortable by crying for no apparent reason.
Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)
Can you please just learn how to love yourself? It’s one thing to look for affirmation but the constant need for praise and acknowledgement gets exhausting. Sorry if your mom didn’t hug you enough but it’s not everyone else’s job to make you feel accomplished.
Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)
Worst friends ever! They have terrible taste and love to nag you about boring details.
Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)
Just because you’re logical doesn’t make you the voice of god when it comes to decision making. You’re the worst to be friends with because you only care about logic and never bother to consider the feelings of other people involved.
Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)
Your ego is so incredibly massive that anyone who chooses to love you does so knowing they will have to deal with that for the rest of their life.
Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st)
Sagittarius are narcissistic little shits who need everyone to tell them how cool they are.
Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)
You are sooooooooo boring. It can’t possibly be that hard to have an interesting thought for one second. Also, you are impressively bad at sex. Sorry.
Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th)
All Aquarians secretly want to be Charles Manson. That’s fucked up.
Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)
It’s tragic to love a Pisces while having to watch them struggle to love themselves. You just wanna shake them and tell them to stop letting people walk on them over and over again. Grow a spine.